It's Simple. Be Kind

As 2016 comes to a close I can’t help but stop for a minute, breathe and reflect. No doubt I have been a very busy bee this year. 2016 has brought tremendous personal and spiritual growth. When I decided to compete for Mrs. Illinois International, I had no idea the way it would impact my and my family’s lives. I had no idea that a competition that I was using to “tell my story” would create a ripple effect that ignited a passion that has no signs of coming to an end. (Although come March, a break is very welcomed!) I told myself that if given this blessing of being named Mrs. Illinois- I would use this as a year of service. A year that was not all about me, but rather a year about all I can do for others. I really challenged myself to see how much a person can really do.  I put my head down and began to work.  I wanted to share some stats with you:  71 appearances as Mrs. Illinois International. All of which have allowed me to meet thousands of people from all over the wo

Emotions are very high, but before I get started I have a disclaimer: THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT EITHER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE...this is about us as parents. I have seen countless posts saying "Now what do I tell my children?" and I can't help but feel compelled to answer that and offer a few humble suggestions. First things first, it's safe to say some of us are very emotional today. When our emotions get the best of us we tend to do and say things we may regret later...or maybe not...but  I've seen more foul language on my face book news feed than a Tarantino movie!!  Your message will resonate more without the insults, foul language, and all the name calling I am seeing today. The next time you want to resort to name calling- and I tell this to the students I speak to all the time- stop for a moment, take a deep breath- ask yourself would I want someone to call me this?? or better yet...how would you feel if someone spoke to my child this way?? This is a frien

1.    Know if you are in a protected class.  Protected classes are covered under Title 7 of Federal law and include:   race, color, national origin, religion, sex (or gender), age (over 40), and disability. Anti-discrimination laws only regard unequal or unfair treatment as unlawful discrimination when the victim is a member of a defined group known as a protected class. 2.    Consult your employee handbook (if one exists).  If you are a member of a protected class or not, what is company policy regarding harassment, retaliation, etc.  Can you file a harassment complaint?  Are there time restraints? 3.    If you are being harassed, keep a record of all interactions, including who, when, how, why.  Keep the notes in a safe place, not at work.  Keep them in a separate notebook or on a computer you take with you each day when you leave work.  If the notes are left at work, they may be viewed by other employees and/or supervisors.  Remember, work computers and supplies come

Every so often I come across a great book list. This is one of my most frequently asked questions- " Can you recommend a book for my son/daughter?" This is one of the newer lists I have found. I like that this list includes books about bravery. Think about it...It's hard even as adults to be that one person to stand up! Bravery goes along with being a bystander and teaching our children to do the right thing when a situation arises. There is one book missing from this list that I love " A Girl With a Cape, " but for the most part it is right on!  Let me know what you and your children think of these books! The link to the book list: http://qz.com/788526/29-books-you-can-read-to-your-kids-if-you-want-them-to-be-kind-and-brave/ Until next time, "Be Kind. Make a Difference!" Mrs. Illinois International 2016

Sometimes bullying can escalate to the point where legal action may be necessary. This can be costly and very time-consuming. I truly feel this final recourse should be limited only  to situations when all other cooperative and peaceful attempts at resolution have been unsuccessful, requests for intervention have been unmet by the school, and / or if your child’s life is in danger.  Working out the issue BEFORE it gets to this point will be much easier on your child as well as everyone involved! I am not an attorney (that legal advice will be coming soon) BUT in the case where it is your only option I have some advice for you. 1.       Know the Laws in Your State As you can imagine laws vary from state to state. Some laws are very detailed, while others have some room for improvement. StopBullying. Gov has a great website that lists each states law on bullying and harassment. Laws only = Dark Green, Policy only = Light Green, Both Law & Policy = Blue 2.

Every child has the right to go to school to learn, grow, and flourish in a safe environment. Every parent deserves peace of mind that when they send their child away, they will be looked after, taken care of and respected. Every educator should feel they are equipped with the tools to be a major factor in putting an end to bullying in their classrooms and schools. Since the beginning of my blogs and videos I’ve received messages weekly from parents, teachers, and children themselves- asking for advice. I, in no way, claim to be an education professional, nor do I claim to know all the answers to the questions with which I am faced. I do, however, know how to help you find them. Some of the common concerns I see repeatedly are “My child is being bullied. I have told the school and they do nothing to stop it.” Or “I am a teacher and I feel we need better policies set in place to help students that are being bullied- I feel like my hands are tied. What are some cheap ways to i

Since being crowned Mrs. Illinois International 5 months ago, I have attended over 42 appearances - not only in Illinois, but also in different states as well.  Every single time I leave an event, no matter what the cause, I leave with a sense of wanting to be EVEN MORE involved than just "making an appearance." I am SO inspired and most of the time I spend the drive home in silence brainstorming what MORE can I do for the cause, for the organization and the people they serve. I truly believe I was blessed with this opportunity not to parade around the state with a beautiful crown, but because I am meant for something so much bigger. It is my absolute pleasure to bring attention to the MANY amazing non-profits changing the lives of thousands every single day with their selfless service. This week I was invited to visit the Bridge Teen Center . They are a non-profit community center for students 7th - 12th grade. When I say this is one of the most beautiful facilities I

Wow... Where do I even begin?  I still can't believe the week has come and gone!! A week I worked so hard to be ready for- my first national / international pageant, is in the books! I'm still trying to catch up with sleep, but for the most part I'm back into the swing of things here at home!  First and foremost, I would like to congratulate all 61 women that were in attendance. Every single one of you was amazing. I was in awe of all you do for your families, your causes, your states and/ or countries, and your faith. A lot of time, dedication, money and heart went into this week. Congrats to the top 15, top 10, top 5 and our new queen Priscilla. Keep doing big things- because you do make a difference. You have put your self out there, and that alone is an accomplishment in itself.  The week started off with a 4:30 am wake up call to head to the airport. Later that day I would be meeting 61 women from all over the world- ready to share their passions, inspiring

I have always been a tough minded person; tall athletic and a former collegiate wrestler.  I am self sufficient and have used my past life experiences to form the person that I am today.  These characteristics can carry me through many difficulties but when you put those up against other people and the choices they make it can become beyond frustrating.  My occupation is a tug boat operator, a very rough blue color job in many ways.  I was fortunate to have a close friend get me this job years ago when I was in need and I worked very hard to move up in the company, get the promotions and better my own situation.  After 3 years of labor intensive work and 6 months of dedicated studying I finally obtained a license that allowed me to operate a vessel up to 1600 tons.  Boat navigation is quite difficult, there are many factors to consider and developing the skill takes persistence and dedication.  As I was learning to drive I was put with a Captain who was verbally abusive towards me.  E

"What does Mrs. Illinois do exactly?" I get that question a lot!!  I will do my very best to answer that... Illinois has a very strong history of remarkable women who have been blessed with the title of Mrs. Illinois International.  We are wives. We are doctors. We are teachers. We are women of God. We are mothers. We are philanthropists. We are nurses. We are community leaders. We are advocates. We are ambassadors. We are multi-taskers who love a challenge.  We are women who are not afraid of hard work. We are role models and we are a voice. We are women with a vision. We are women who want to change the world and pageantry is our chosen way to do this. Over the years we have represented organizations like CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates), Feed My Starving Children, Autism Speaks, Boys and Girls Club, Make a Wish, PACER's and Go Red for Women to name a few. We have represented survivors of cancer, mental illness, suicide, depression,

My experience with bullying happened at an age that I thought bullying did not happen anymore. I thought it was something that happened on the playground or your freshman year of high school. It was something that if you were lucky enough to evade it in your early years of life, you were in the clear once you hit adulthood. I was working a job that I loved, but it was not meeting my long-term needs or goals financially. One of my clients, whom I had worked with for years, knowing my work ethic and skill set, offered me a position with the firm for which she was the office manager. After weeks of thinking on it, I decided to take her up on her offer on a part time basis. I still wanted to keep the job that I enjoyed so much, but how could I pass up the opportunity to work with one of my favorite clients? It started great. I had the best of both worlds and had some extra money in my pocket. She was wonderful to me, almost like a work mother. After some time, the owner of the company o

Often times when I say "I was bullied" most, if not all assume it happened while I was at school, on the bus or on the playground. Bullying of our youth is a very serious, life threatening issue; this is also the case for adults.  When you are bullied as an adult a few things happen. Much like our young targets, you feel extremely embarrassed this is happening to you, to the point of not saying anything out of fear that people will not believe you, or worse yet think you are not the confident, strong person everyone sees you as. For myself, I felt I had brought this upon myself in some way or caused this negative attention. The more I seemed to mind my own business the more I was sought out. The effects of bullying are both physical and mental and they are also residual. Maybe we can not change the person who enjoys being the bully, but we sure can do something to inspire and empower victims and bystanders. I have decided to create a campaign to do just that. Thi