I have always been a tough minded person; tall athletic and
a former collegiate wrestler. I am self
sufficient and have used my past life experiences to form the person that I am
today. These characteristics can carry me
through many difficulties but when you put those up against other people and
the choices they make it can become beyond frustrating. My occupation is a tug boat operator, a very
rough blue color job in many ways. I was
fortunate to have a close friend get me this job years ago when I was in need
and I worked very hard to move up in the company, get the promotions and better
my own situation. After 3 years of labor
intensive work and 6 months of dedicated studying I finally obtained a license
that allowed me to operate a vessel up to 1600 tons. Boat navigation is quite difficult, there are
many factors to consider and developing the skill takes persistence and
dedication. As I was learning to drive I
was put with a Captain who was verbally abusive towards me. Every time I made a miscalculation I was
ridiculed and laughed at. Many offensive
remarks from this man were made towards me about racism, sexual orientation,
and overall intelligence, as if these factors have anything to do with
operating a boat. The last 2 trainees
under his guidance left the company and I believe it was his intention to make
me do the same. I was told that I might as well quit because I’ll never be able
to figure this out. This captain
eventually refused to let me drive the boat all together and since completing a
certain criteria of proficiencies was needed to obtain my next promotion I was
now being affected financially which to me felt very personal and unfair. He told many people in the company that I
don’t have the necessary skills and don’t belong behind the wheel of a tug
boat.
I eventually finished my training process with another
instructor and was subsequently banished to a less desirable boat without explanation,
where I remained for an entire year. I
have been told by virtually everyone else within my company that I am
sufficiently skilled and have the necessary disposition to be a proficient operator. For me
to bring this issue up publicly to management would be a death sentence for my
career as it would be easy for Captain Bully to continue making life difficult
on me. I decided that it was best for me
to just keep my distance from him and remain dedicated to my own development. It was a difficult time for me but I know in
my heart I am a resilient person who can deal with situations like this.
As a 35 year old independent man it is hard to consider that
a person could be bullied. I think for
most people they don’t recognize a bully when they see one. The idea of a “bully” is the big kid in the
school yard who picks on the smaller quieter kids; the old adage of having sand
kicked in your face. Schoolyard bullying
is a prevalent issue in today’s society and needs to be addressed. One issue however which is rarely discussed
is bullying amongst adults. What
bullying really comes down to is that someone who is in a higher standing is
taking advantage of those beneath them.
In my opinion this is the vilest quality a human can possess. I have learned through my perspectives that
there is nothing to be gained from being rude to people. At times it may seem like people deserve your
impoliteness but it never accomplishes anything. Directing that negative energy upon some one
that is in some way beneath you is, in my opinion, one of the worst things a
human can do. What it really comes down
to with Captain Bully is a lack of intelligence; he would constantly brag about
how he could drive the boat so much better than me and that it took me way
longer to complete maneuvers than it did him, as if this is any surprise from a
man doing it 30 years compared to my 6 months.
I believe that the reason he acted this way is a direct reflection of
his own shortcomings. Belittling those
beneath him and bragging about himself is his way of validation, this most
likely stems from the fact that he is grossly unhappy and disappointed with his
own life and he projects that towards others.
In my free time off the boat I am actively pursuing the art
of stand-up comedy. I attend nightly
open mics around the city and am constantly trying to improve. Comedy takes a tremendous amount of work and
dedication. Any high level comedian will
tell you that it takes up to 10 years to become good and within those years
there is a tremendous work. Comedy is a
passion of mine and the only way for me to get where I want to be is to dive in
the trenches and start working.
What I found is that the comedy trenches are quite dirty,
filled with backstabbing, undermining, lies, and exclusion of others. It is very difficult to crack into the local
comedy community because so many other comics will try to tear you down. Comedy is all about how long you have been in
the game; therefore those with a more longevity will feel entitled to belittle
others. New comedians are often left waiting
late into the night just for a 5 minutes spot in front of nobody. The older comedians will bump their way into
lineups and it is just written off as part of the business. If a new comedians material is dark or off
color they are labeled as offensive, when they are just trying to develop their
comedy skills and identity. Social
cliques are often formed which make it hard to get on a show unless you are
friends with the right people.
Tough obstacles are things that come with the territory in
comedy and I can accept those. One thing
that does not fly well with me is when a new comedian is told that they are bad
at comedy and that they should quit.
Being a comedian longer than someone else does not make you an authority
just a bully. Comedy is an art form
which means its quality is subjective, much like music, visual art and even
food. What one person enjoys may not be
the same for others and vice versa. If a
person is a novice at constructing their art and the quality is not good it is
still art and in no way should be halted.
Art is a person’s interpretation of the world they live in and is shared
for others to gain a perspective. What
is poor quality now can eventually bloom into something that inspires others
and in my opinion when you discourage art you are doing the world an injustice.
I have no background is psychology or sociology so for me to
give advice or answers on how to deal with such matters would be out of
place. Should I have spoken up against
Captain Bully and defended myself? Possibly,
but it is not in my nature to complain about work. I am there to learn and get better and have
trust in myself and my work ethic to get me through tough situations. Older comedians can put me down and
discourage me all they want but they might as well get used to seeing me around
for a long time. I also know that once I
am a Captain and a veteran comedian I will treat others with respect and
encourage their growth. Bullying takes
place in many forms and if this is something you may have done to others who
are beneath you than you need to stop. One
thing I can say is if humans can recognize this “flaw” in other people they
will see that being picked on is not a personal attack towards them but rather
a reflection of the bully’s poor character.
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