What it's like to be a "Mr."

One of the things I have learned thus far on my pageantry journey is yes, there is only one title holder but it's not all about you. It's about so much more... Something much bigger than yourself. It's about the cause you are raising awareness for, it's about the people you meet, it's about your sister queens and all of those that have come before you.  As a "Mrs." it's also about your husband.
This journey would not be possible without him!  
For this entry I decided to ask my husband to share some advice about what it's like to be my "Mr."
Today was the first time I have read this ... And I have to say he's pretty funny- sort of ;-) ... Well, at least he thinks he is!
Hope you enjoy!

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It’s a Friday night.  You’re getting ready to go out with your wife.  Guys, we’ve all been there; we know the routine.  She asks you to zip up the back of her dress.  Next, comes THE question:  “Does this make me look fat?  Are you sure you like this color?”  Or maybe some other variation of that… Then, of course, right before you guys need to run out the door, she asks you to pin her crown to her hair.  Typical. Oh, wait. I’m sorry.  That’s just me and my new reality.  

Here I am, the husband of Mrs. Illinois International.  I have to say, it’s pretty cool to be married to such a strong and independently successful woman.  It’s been wonderful to be her confidante – her consult – as she’s navigated the world of pageantry and more importantly, crafted a unique mission to end bullying through inspiring kindness.  But, it’s even more rewarding to see how effectively she has executed to achieve her goals.  I am a lucky man, that’s for sure.  

Except, when she’s in extreme-focus mode.  In that case, that’s a big “Do Not Disturb.”

Now, it’s obvious I love this woman, but I will be honest,being a pageant husband can be a challenge at times.  So, I thought it may be interesting to document some of my experiences and the lessons I’ve learned as a sort of “Survival Guide.”  To the next Mr. Illinois International, “You’re welcome.”

• First and foremost, “Be supportive always” – and Be Positive!

In its infancy, the idea to enter a pageant was very scary and a time of uncertainty for my wife.  She needs your support.  She needs to know she’s not alone on this journey and you need to be her rock.

Your support should extend even to your diet.  As a man who loves his meat fried and his deserts salty AND sweet, this was not easy, but I found it helpful for us to eat clean TOGETHER.  Knowing that my wife needed to step on that stage in very- tailored cocktail dresses, evening gowns, and even fitness -wear, my commitment to keeping the kitchen stocked up on lean meat and green veggies was paramount.  Use this as an impetus to tackle this challenge together and provide each other with the will power to “Say No” to those temptations. Or at least don’t eat the good stuff in front of her!  And trust me, she WILL find your hiding spots.

• Come to terms with the fact that your wife is now much like a high-end Italian sports car.

Try not to scrutinize your itemized credit card statement too closely, because in order to run like a well-oiled machine, every part of her body will now be tended to by a specialist: eyelashes, eyebrows, skincare, spray tans, haircuts, hair coloring, manicures, pedicures, makeup!  Am I missing anything???  I give up (*eye roll*)

I can distinctly recall needing to remind my wife: “Remember, I’m a relatively NEW dentist… we don’t have endless supplies of money to buy blinged-out earrings!”  It may take numerous “gentle” reminders, but choose your battles wisely; these women are competitors and can be feisty!  ;)

While we’re on the topic of money, I wish I would have bought stock in “Rent the Runway.”  Guys, do you know what that is?  Probably not, right?  Well, my wife is probably their biggest customer, so it would’ve been nice to benefit from her brand loyalty.

• Get organized.  Listen and, more importantly, Remember!

This pointer has been one of the harder ones for me, but I’ve learned how important it is to listen carefully!  My wife is now even busier than ever and her obligations became “our” obligations.  My daily planner is filled almost exclusively with my wife’s engagements now!  Personal training, photo shoots, conference call sessions with her pageant coach, gala appearances… Just go with it…  This only lasts a year, right?!? :0

Oh!  And, my wife has started attending “Trunk Shows” now.  So, that’s a thing.  I’m still not sure I completely know what these events are, but again… go with it and act like you’re interested.

• Last, but not least:  Smile!  

I will thank the 2015 Mrs. Illinois International, Lindsey Rossi, for this one.  Especially when escorting your beautiful wife out on that stage, remember that video is rolling and cameras are flashing!  I know I didn’t want to look through photos and lament, “Why does it look like I’m angry?  Why aren’t I smiling?!” (Oh, maybe it’s because I know how much this put a dent in my bank account??) In all seriousness, this is a really special moment for you AND your wife.  Enjoy this moment; savor this opportunity to show your united front as a team that prepared for this day together.  Beam with pride for your beautiful wife and her accomplishment to even be participating!

Ultimately, this experience has been such a blessing.  I have witnessed my wife evolve and grow into a leader; someone who makes a difference and leads by example.  As a husband, it’s amazing to see your wife so invested in – so passionate about –something so altruistic.  I’ve not only found myself discovering new strengths of my wife, but also recognizing and rediscovering qualities that drew me to her in the first place.  At the end of the day, this is all more than just a beauty pageant.  This is about education, awareness, and social change.  Yes- on the stage are beautiful women, but they are so much more than just pretty ladies.  These women represent all their life experiences (hardships and successes) and the lives of close friends and/ or family members.  They have incredible stories to tell and I’m proud to be part of one.

To my wife: 

Thank you for involving and trusting me with your very personal journey. I believe your life experiences- no matter how hard - have prepared you for this moment.

“It was written in the stars…” 

Love, Christopher