Don't feed the Trolls!!

I have a confession to make.  I really enjoy social media. I hear a lot of people say “I hate social media!” “I hate Facebook!” “I hate Instagram!” Yet they continue to post away! So I'm just going to be honest and throw it out there-  I really enjoy social media! I enjoy seeing my friends' children growing up. I enjoy seeing friends from high school. I enjoy the funny clips from talk shows. Or beautiful pictures of just the perfect moment in nature. Just this past week I had to sadly miss my good friend's son's first birthday party- but I was still able to share in the moment all because of social media. I enjoy learning about people through social media as well. Yes, I know people say we create a "fake world" so people can think a certain way of us, blah blah blah… I get it.  I still see it as a place to share good news, a place to share beautiful pictures, a place to grieve sometimes, a place for support and encouragement! I really enjoy social media as well because I do a lot of reading. I love the interesting articles that pop up- some factual, some completely crazy, but still entertaining. When I was a new mom I literally read all that I could get my hands on. I joined a lot of support groups for mommies to get advice and opinions. I eventually left a few of the groups due to all the "mom shaming" going on- which falls under my point I'm about to get to in a minute, but I really appreciate any time that anyone puts into writing a blog, making a video, or writing an article. Especially to help others. I might not agree with what they are saying, or what their views are, but I can appreciate the fact that they took time out of their lives, to write about or to talk about something that's important to them.

Do you remember those little trolls that some of us used to collect? They had the brightly colored fuzzy hair, and a cute little smile on their face? Yeah. Those aren't the trolls I'm talking about today. It seems like no one is safe these days from these so-called “Internet Trolls.” I see them all over social media. In the news, in support groups, literally anywhere comments can be left. Some of the worst rearing their ugly heads with some of the most upsetting, sad stories.  It never fails. No matter how sad, how tragic, or how touching the story, it wouldn't be social media without some horrendous insult or comment. Why is that? Why do people feel the need to not just leave a mean comment, but to write horrible things about people they've never even met?? When I say no one is safe, I mean no one is safe. Just a few months ago I was reading an article about the pope and a rainbow! It wasn’t even a controversial story and he was being attacked. And when I say “attack” I mean using the worst language you possibly could even imagine. To talk about the pope!? 

I can really appreciate the “mean tweets” segment that one of the late night comedians features. It allows us to laugh at the fact people can be such jerks, and when repeated and said out loud – they sound pretty silly.  Some of the comments on these web posts are just disgusting though. Why do people take the time to write these things? Why do they bother to muster up the energy to write these “well thought out” hateful comments? Do they really feel that strongly against whatever they are posting about? Probably not.  Sometimes these rants are very reminiscent of when my toddler throws a temper tantrum. I try to rationalize why it’s happening, but at the end of the day who knows?? Why these people use such hateful language to get their point across will probably always remain a mystery to me. All I can compare it to is much like a toddler who doesn’t know how to express how they feel so they resort to kicking, screaming and the occasional face slap (Anyone else going through that right now??- sorry... different blog!)

What I don’t understand is why can’t we just agree to disagree? Why do we have to resort to insults and name calling?? In a recent situation a girl was sounding off against millennials. Instead of people using the time and their knowledge to argue against the points she was making, people began to target her for her looks and the way she talked. The color lipstick she was wearing! Really?? That’s all you can come up with? You have the opportunity to be profound and actually say something – people are listening… and all you can say is “She must be dumb because she dyes her hair??”  What’s even more mind blowing to me is that the more people that stuck up for her the more they became targets themselves! So what message does that send here? Well it tells people to 1. Don’t bother to speak your mind because you will become a target. 2. Don’t bother to stick up for other people because you become a target yourself, and 3. The more you feed the trolls the more power they gain.

Social media is a funny thing. Most of us can just brush off the things we read. Every once in a while I will read the comments section of a story- and there is always that one that stings me. That one where I will actually type out a response to help out whoever they are attacking. Then I stop. I decide to not reply to the person who is writing the insult- but write to the person who needs the encouragement, or the prayers. I find that the kind words, the well wishes and the empowerment... the light is what's needed most here. Good will always eventually out shine the bad. Whether you believe in Karma, or fate, or divine intervention. Kindness is always the answer. 

Think of this- if people could speak their minds without verbally abusing each other... Or if all of the energy that had been used to say these mean things was instead used for encouragement and ideas of how to change things to make a positive difference how much better off would we all be?? 


Until next time...
"Be Kind. Make a Difference"
Mrs. Illinois International 2016