Going into pageant week, I was SO excited. I had been preparing for months and was ready to go! One of the things I was most excited about was being able to tell my story for the first time in a very public arena. Yes, I have been writing all about my experience, but this time I was going to be able to stand tall and proud on a stage and share a little bit about what drove me to compete in the first place.
Upon arrival, I was excited - yet calm, and proud that I was even there! Someone had told me that a really great idea was to start journaling a little bit before the pageant to stir up all the emotions that went into my preparation and my journey. That advice really helped me stay grounded and reminded me of my message. I spent the rest of the night in my quiet room reflecting on all I had done to get to this point. I knew all the weeks of preparation really paid off and I went to bed knowing that I was ready.
The first part of the competition was the one-on-one interview. I knew, going in, what I wanted to say to each judge... But as I found out- it wasn't so black and white! We spent 5 minutes with each of the 5 judges and it went by so fast! I honestly had such a great time talking with each judge- but as I left I thought to myself, "What just happened?" Haha... It was a blur! I did know that overall I felt happy and satisfied with my answers; I also know that I smiled a lot. But other than that it was up to the judges from that point on! Walking back to my room, I was still trying to process what just took place! Of course you critique yourself and think of all additional things you could have said... But, I didn't over-analyze the interviews and was ready to focus on the next task at hand. Now it was time for rehearsals!
Rehearsals were so fun for me! That’s really when I was able to meet the other ladies that I would be sharing the stage with! I would be proud to call every one of the Mrs. contestants my friend. They were all smart, beautiful, and ambitious. I can honestly say we helped each other the whole weekend. I loved the comradery and the energy! I think we could go on tour as a professional dance troupe given how much we practiced our opening number together ;-)
Rehearsals came to an end late that night. I was so excited for the big day!
I woke up with an anxious excitement. The day began with an early rehearsal and progressed SO fast!! Next thing I knew I was putting on my opening number dress getting lined up to introduce myself on stage! I felt calm and I promised myself that I would take this all in. I enjoyed every single moment out there like it could be my last time on stage. It came time for the highly anticipated on-stage portion of the competition. I was lucky number 1!
As I walked out there for the on-stage interview, I knew what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.
I think all the emotions caught up with me at that very moment. Swirling in my head in a flash, I remembered my experiences with bullying; I reflected on all that I had done this past year in preparation for today; I relished how far I’ve come. I caught the eye of my husband right as I began to speak. I started to discuss my platform and I could feel my heart swell. As I heard myself articulate what I had been through and what I had overcome, a rush of emotion came over me. During my last two sentences, my voice began to quiver as I almost began to cry. I wasn't scared or sad- but proud. It had been a long journey and this was a release. I had let go of the old me- and welcomed in a new me. The me I was meant to be. The me that I knew was going to make a difference. I then understood at that very moment the power my words can have.
I got it together for my next question and finished happy and content that I was able to say what I wanted to say. After that, it was party time for me! I had so much fun on that stage and in those lights. I knew that no matter what the outcome I had succeeded. To me, that's what it was all about.
My favorite part of the pageant was being able to hold my husband’s hand as I walked out for evening gown. I felt like it was just him and I out there. I was so proud of him - all of the support and help, the sacrifices, the immense love. It was truly a magical moment for me. I also was able to look out into the crowd and see all my friends and family. Again, I was overwhelmed with pride. Thank you so much for coming out to support me for something that was so important to me. You all chose to be there and I will never forget that. Even the friends that couldn't be there on that night, your support throughout my whole personal journey really meant the world to me. I am blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.
As they began to announce the awards, I really wasn't sure how things would end up. I knew I tried my best and I knew that I stood up there with a happy heart. Sure, there were things I can improve on- but for once in my life I wasn't worried about the “shoulda coulda woulda.”
Hearing my name being called as the next Mrs. Illinois International is something I will never forget. Still even today- writing this- I realize how blessed I am. I have a lot of work ahead of me to spread my message and will enjoy every single moment of it. I will hold true to all my promises and make sure that by the time I am crowning the next blessed lady next year, that I will have made a difference. I vow that more people will be made aware that bullying does NOT discriminate... And, NO, we do not need to be ashamed. Those painful experiences are part of me, but they do not define me. My whole life – the good and the bad - has prepared me for this very moment-
The light at the end of my tunnel ...
Until next time,
"Be Kind. Make a Difference!"
Mrs. Illinois International 2016
Upon arrival, I was excited - yet calm, and proud that I was even there! Someone had told me that a really great idea was to start journaling a little bit before the pageant to stir up all the emotions that went into my preparation and my journey. That advice really helped me stay grounded and reminded me of my message. I spent the rest of the night in my quiet room reflecting on all I had done to get to this point. I knew all the weeks of preparation really paid off and I went to bed knowing that I was ready.
The first part of the competition was the one-on-one interview. I knew, going in, what I wanted to say to each judge... But as I found out- it wasn't so black and white! We spent 5 minutes with each of the 5 judges and it went by so fast! I honestly had such a great time talking with each judge- but as I left I thought to myself, "What just happened?" Haha... It was a blur! I did know that overall I felt happy and satisfied with my answers; I also know that I smiled a lot. But other than that it was up to the judges from that point on! Walking back to my room, I was still trying to process what just took place! Of course you critique yourself and think of all additional things you could have said... But, I didn't over-analyze the interviews and was ready to focus on the next task at hand. Now it was time for rehearsals!
Rehearsals were so fun for me! That’s really when I was able to meet the other ladies that I would be sharing the stage with! I would be proud to call every one of the Mrs. contestants my friend. They were all smart, beautiful, and ambitious. I can honestly say we helped each other the whole weekend. I loved the comradery and the energy! I think we could go on tour as a professional dance troupe given how much we practiced our opening number together ;-)
Rehearsals came to an end late that night. I was so excited for the big day!
I woke up with an anxious excitement. The day began with an early rehearsal and progressed SO fast!! Next thing I knew I was putting on my opening number dress getting lined up to introduce myself on stage! I felt calm and I promised myself that I would take this all in. I enjoyed every single moment out there like it could be my last time on stage. It came time for the highly anticipated on-stage portion of the competition. I was lucky number 1!
As I walked out there for the on-stage interview, I knew what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.
I think all the emotions caught up with me at that very moment. Swirling in my head in a flash, I remembered my experiences with bullying; I reflected on all that I had done this past year in preparation for today; I relished how far I’ve come. I caught the eye of my husband right as I began to speak. I started to discuss my platform and I could feel my heart swell. As I heard myself articulate what I had been through and what I had overcome, a rush of emotion came over me. During my last two sentences, my voice began to quiver as I almost began to cry. I wasn't scared or sad- but proud. It had been a long journey and this was a release. I had let go of the old me- and welcomed in a new me. The me I was meant to be. The me that I knew was going to make a difference. I then understood at that very moment the power my words can have.
I got it together for my next question and finished happy and content that I was able to say what I wanted to say. After that, it was party time for me! I had so much fun on that stage and in those lights. I knew that no matter what the outcome I had succeeded. To me, that's what it was all about.
My favorite part of the pageant was being able to hold my husband’s hand as I walked out for evening gown. I felt like it was just him and I out there. I was so proud of him - all of the support and help, the sacrifices, the immense love. It was truly a magical moment for me. I also was able to look out into the crowd and see all my friends and family. Again, I was overwhelmed with pride. Thank you so much for coming out to support me for something that was so important to me. You all chose to be there and I will never forget that. Even the friends that couldn't be there on that night, your support throughout my whole personal journey really meant the world to me. I am blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.
As they began to announce the awards, I really wasn't sure how things would end up. I knew I tried my best and I knew that I stood up there with a happy heart. Sure, there were things I can improve on- but for once in my life I wasn't worried about the “shoulda coulda woulda.”
Hearing my name being called as the next Mrs. Illinois International is something I will never forget. Still even today- writing this- I realize how blessed I am. I have a lot of work ahead of me to spread my message and will enjoy every single moment of it. I will hold true to all my promises and make sure that by the time I am crowning the next blessed lady next year, that I will have made a difference. I vow that more people will be made aware that bullying does NOT discriminate... And, NO, we do not need to be ashamed. Those painful experiences are part of me, but they do not define me. My whole life – the good and the bad - has prepared me for this very moment-
The light at the end of my tunnel ...
Until next time,
"Be Kind. Make a Difference!"
Mrs. Illinois International 2016
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