Guest Blog Entry for The Workplace Bullying Prevention Center

I was so honored and thrilled to be asked to write an entry about Kindness for The Workplace Bullying Prevention Center. A site I had visited so many times for advice myself. This site is dedicated to educating, supporting, and empowering victims of workplace bullying. An issue not a lot of people are aware even happens. When you think of the word "bullying" you automatically think children or teens. Since I have become an advocate for bullying not only of children but also adults, I have had so many people reaching out to me to say "Thank you" for opening their eyes to this abuse. Likewise, I have also had victims of adult bullying say the same...because we are being heard. Bullying does not discriminate. It can happen to you, or someone you love- no matter age, sex, or occupation. Please visit www.WorkplaceBullyingPrevention.org for more information on how to deal with, or help someone going through this form of abuse. You can make a difference.

Here is my entry on Kindness...

Be kind. You make a difference. It sounds simple enough in theory. Think of all the problems and issues that would be resolved if we stopped and thought to ourselves, "Is this the kind thing to do?" BEFORE we acted. That scenario can be used in so many aspects of our lives. I admit- it's not always the easiest choice. Often times we are challenged and tested. One negative situation is sometimes met with the same animosity. Eye for an eye. It seems to be that most of us feel like, "they did it to me, so they get the same thing in return."  And, sometimes even worse. It's the reverse of "pay it forward."  Every time we react without kind intentions, progress is lost. In fact, we add another layer of negativity that we send out to the universe. I've always found that being negative takes so much energy. It's exhausting. I must admit, before I decided it was time I take a stand- kindness wasn't always my first go- to reaction. I wasn't cruel or intentionally mean, but I wasn't going out of my way to be kind either. 

As a victim of adult bullying, I do know what it feels like to be tried and tested, over and over. Four months of testing to be exact. Some days I wanted to act out and scream insults just like my bully did to me. I would play scenarios over and over in my head of all the mean words I could sling to try to hurt her back. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still at times. I felt the same way toward my co-workers that turned a blind eye as it went on. Yet still, a part of me wanted to be liked by these people.  And to be honest- I always understood why they never said anything. They were scared of retaliation also. Even so, my natural instinct was to still be kind. Did it help my situation at all? Nope. In fact my kindness was taken for weakness.

So why am I an anti-bully advocate that tries to prevent bullying through inspiring kindness?? Why is it SO important that I keep inspiring kindness when people who exhibit it often set themselves up to be possible targets?? Here is my answer. I challenge you to one week of kindness. Live it and breathe it. Take EVERY situation you are faced with and look at it with kind eyes and a kind heart. Let go of the animosity. Let go of the heavy burden of payback. Let go of the need to always be right and just BE kind. Things will start to change for you. Your outlook, your energy, your relationships and maybe even your job performance. Kindness is so powerful.

If I would have had just ONE kind face to greet me as I walked into work, or just ONE kind person that stood next to me during my dark times, things would have been different while I was trapped dealing with my bullying experience. Something positive changes inside victims of bullying when they know they are not alone. When they are shown someone does care; when they are shown kindness.  Kindness and inclusion empower.

There will be times when you think, "Ok, so I'm trying really hard to be kind... But, shes a jerk."  Trust me, you will encounter that, but for this one week, rise above that. Be the positive that can sway the situation. Be the solution to the problem. Be the example.

I recently founded a non profit organization dedicated to bully prevention through inspiring kindness. One of the features of my organization is a community outreach group called the Kindness Crew.  We are just that- we are a group of ordinary people that come together with the common belief that we can change the world simply by being kind. We set out last week to promote Random Acts of Kindness in our communities. Not only did we see how much our acts positively affected unsuspecting people, but it also did something to us inside. Try it once and you will see what I am taking about. I like to feature these stories on my website in hopes of creating a ripple effect; a pay-it- forward mentality. I believe that with promoting positive stories of KINDNESS, you can inspire and create inclusion.  And with inclusion, you create UNITY. If we want to stop bullying, we need to change the culture in which that behavior thrives. It all goes back to kindness.

Be kind... You can, and WILL make a difference. ❤️

Nicole La Ha Zwiercan
Founder of "Be Kind. Make A difference"
Www.BeKindMakeADifference.com