We all know right from wrong. We all know what we should be doing. Why is it so hard sometimes? Here I am creating a huge push for bully prevention and trying to inspire people to be kind to one another. Yet I find it difficult to ALWAYS do the right thing as well. We sometimes say things we not always, truly believe in. Some of us agree just to be polite. We don't want to be seen as difficult or argumentative. We sometimes go along with the group in order not to offend. My point is even as adults we can be persuaded to sometimes go with the flow. Even if it's not what we feel is the "right" thing. We let things slide. We are so busy with our everyday lives we don't want to be bothered with extra stress or worries. I know some of you are reading this right now and thinking - " Well speak for yourself. I ALWAYS speak my mind." And while that may be true for the most part, the majority of the people I personally speak with have issues deciding when to speak up and when to let things go. Saying you do something and actually doing it are two very different things.
I applaud those people who go out of their way for complete strangers. I LOVE random acts of kindness. As much negativity as I see daily, I still do see these kind acts and it fills me with HOPE. I was recently put in a situation where I had to do what I knew was right or just go on my way minding my own business. I kind of hate that phrase "Mind your own business." Its confusing to me. What exactly is my business?? Of course I don't want to be nosy or include myself in a situation that doesn't involve me- but at what point do I draw the line? I think it's a question we can all ask ourselves "What is my business?" It's a good idea to not only define that for yourself but also to have a talk with your children about this idea. If it's confusing for adults, then surely it is for children as well. When to intervene. When to walk away. I love that saying "Pick your battles." But how do you define what are "your battles?"
As I continue to speak with more and more children I see it's a question, well more of a concept, that keeps coming up at every presentation.
I was recently in the grocery store with my son, who decided at that very moment to be the most energetic he has ever been, and my husband. I figured we can all go, get it done and get out. Well if you happened to be there last week you could have followed us around the store with the trail of cinnamon puffs left behind. I actually really enjoy going to the grocery store as a family. I find it fun and if worst comes to worst- I have my babysitter, I mean husband with me:) We always start at one end and work our way across. One of the things I love about this particular store is the service. I always have a great experience. This particular store also hires adults with special needs to do certain jobs around the store. I have always loved that they do that. I never saw that it could be a possible issue until I was a witness to a situation. My husband and I were in an aisle having a deep conversation about which box of oatmeal to go with, when we were interrupted by a young man stepping in between us to sweep. At first I was a little taken aback by how abrupt it was, but then I was able to see this man had special needs. My heart warmed as I saw how proud he was of the job he was doing. I smiled at him and he kept going unfazed. I thought to myself - " Bless his heart." We continued on with our extremely important oat meal conversation only to be interrupted again.
I heard a woman saying "Sir, do you know where the honey is?" The young man -unfazed- kept his head down and kept sweeping and replied "I'm just trying to sweep." She then said, in a very mean and annoyed tone, "Excuse me??!" and kept staring at him. The young man still looking down and sweeping replied "I'm just trying to sweep. I'm just trying to sweep," in a monotone voice. She then walks right up to his face and says " Excuse me! I am trying to talk to you!" " I'm trying to sweep" he said. "How do you work here and NOT know where something is??" The man stopped and started rocking back and forth at this point. He kept repeating " I'm just trying to sweep." Seeing all of this happen, I immediately jumped in. I only did this because the young man was visibly getting more and more upset by this yelling woman and I wanted to help them both- at first. I tried to make friendly eye contact with the woman to let her know that he may not be able to answer your question. I said to her "Ma'am. I think he's here just to sweep" with a friendly smile on may face, thinking she would pick up on what I was trying to tell her. Nope. This woman did not care. She glared at the man one more time before turning her wrath on me.
"Ex-cuse me??!" She said with a cold stare. Taken by this I reacted by saying " I don't think he is able to answer you." I was cut off. I was about to say I'm sure we can find someone to answer your very important question when she interrupted me, scolding me like I was her child. " I wasn't talking to you!" I almost just stood there and took the scolding but a small voice inside me began to whisper "I know. I was just trying to help." She continued to walk up to me and stare me down, saying "You need to mind your own business." She literally stared at me for a good 30 seconds- not moving. So I stared right back. I thought she's either going to attack me, or I will have made my point. She finally broke her stare. She looked at my husband and he kindly said- "He's just trying to do his job." She huffed off but not before slinging one final insult. By this time there was a small audience. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that "I" had caused a scene. I began to apologize to the people that had gathered to watch. The man calmed down and continued on sweeping. One family came up to me to say they saw the whole thing and what I had done was the right thing to do. I was still embarrassed. We continued on shopping. I was still a little shaky from the situation. I was nervous with every turn into a new aisle that we would see this lady again.We finally checked out without any more drama.
I got to the car - said I was sorry to my husband and started to cry. I cried because I was sad for how that young man was being treated. If this happened at his job, I couldn't imagine what his life must be like. I thought to myself he is someone's son. He deserves to be treated with respect- especially at his job. I also was sad because I saw how hard it was, first -hand to involve yourself in a bullying type situation that had nothing to do with you. To be that person to "do something." When I visit with students, yes I talk about bullying, yes I talk about being kind and respectful. In addition, I always ask them to "Be that one person to make a difference." Its much easier said than done.
I started to brain storm on how I can incorporate my learning experience into my presentations. Instead of putting an emphasis on the bully vs. the victim- How can I inspire the bystander? As a culture we are taught to mind your own business and keep going on your own path. How could I inspire a change in that thought process? How could I make an impact so much that it inspires people to LIVE that change?... I think if I could come up with a single answer I'd single-handedly put an end to the world's problems... But until I do- I will continue with my journey. I will continue to lead by example. I will continue to inspire kindness, empathy and respect. I will continue to BE the change I want to see. I will continue to smile and just be NICE.
It's so simple right?
As always, thank you for reading...
Today I challenge you to go out and do something nice for a complete stranger. Be careful it gets addicting! :)
I applaud those people who go out of their way for complete strangers. I LOVE random acts of kindness. As much negativity as I see daily, I still do see these kind acts and it fills me with HOPE. I was recently put in a situation where I had to do what I knew was right or just go on my way minding my own business. I kind of hate that phrase "Mind your own business." Its confusing to me. What exactly is my business?? Of course I don't want to be nosy or include myself in a situation that doesn't involve me- but at what point do I draw the line? I think it's a question we can all ask ourselves "What is my business?" It's a good idea to not only define that for yourself but also to have a talk with your children about this idea. If it's confusing for adults, then surely it is for children as well. When to intervene. When to walk away. I love that saying "Pick your battles." But how do you define what are "your battles?"
As I continue to speak with more and more children I see it's a question, well more of a concept, that keeps coming up at every presentation.
I was recently in the grocery store with my son, who decided at that very moment to be the most energetic he has ever been, and my husband. I figured we can all go, get it done and get out. Well if you happened to be there last week you could have followed us around the store with the trail of cinnamon puffs left behind. I actually really enjoy going to the grocery store as a family. I find it fun and if worst comes to worst- I have my babysitter, I mean husband with me:) We always start at one end and work our way across. One of the things I love about this particular store is the service. I always have a great experience. This particular store also hires adults with special needs to do certain jobs around the store. I have always loved that they do that. I never saw that it could be a possible issue until I was a witness to a situation. My husband and I were in an aisle having a deep conversation about which box of oatmeal to go with, when we were interrupted by a young man stepping in between us to sweep. At first I was a little taken aback by how abrupt it was, but then I was able to see this man had special needs. My heart warmed as I saw how proud he was of the job he was doing. I smiled at him and he kept going unfazed. I thought to myself - " Bless his heart." We continued on with our extremely important oat meal conversation only to be interrupted again.
I heard a woman saying "Sir, do you know where the honey is?" The young man -unfazed- kept his head down and kept sweeping and replied "I'm just trying to sweep." She then said, in a very mean and annoyed tone, "Excuse me??!" and kept staring at him. The young man still looking down and sweeping replied "I'm just trying to sweep. I'm just trying to sweep," in a monotone voice. She then walks right up to his face and says " Excuse me! I am trying to talk to you!" " I'm trying to sweep" he said. "How do you work here and NOT know where something is??" The man stopped and started rocking back and forth at this point. He kept repeating " I'm just trying to sweep." Seeing all of this happen, I immediately jumped in. I only did this because the young man was visibly getting more and more upset by this yelling woman and I wanted to help them both- at first. I tried to make friendly eye contact with the woman to let her know that he may not be able to answer your question. I said to her "Ma'am. I think he's here just to sweep" with a friendly smile on may face, thinking she would pick up on what I was trying to tell her. Nope. This woman did not care. She glared at the man one more time before turning her wrath on me.
"Ex-cuse me??!" She said with a cold stare. Taken by this I reacted by saying " I don't think he is able to answer you." I was cut off. I was about to say I'm sure we can find someone to answer your very important question when she interrupted me, scolding me like I was her child. " I wasn't talking to you!" I almost just stood there and took the scolding but a small voice inside me began to whisper "I know. I was just trying to help." She continued to walk up to me and stare me down, saying "You need to mind your own business." She literally stared at me for a good 30 seconds- not moving. So I stared right back. I thought she's either going to attack me, or I will have made my point. She finally broke her stare. She looked at my husband and he kindly said- "He's just trying to do his job." She huffed off but not before slinging one final insult. By this time there was a small audience. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that "I" had caused a scene. I began to apologize to the people that had gathered to watch. The man calmed down and continued on sweeping. One family came up to me to say they saw the whole thing and what I had done was the right thing to do. I was still embarrassed. We continued on shopping. I was still a little shaky from the situation. I was nervous with every turn into a new aisle that we would see this lady again.We finally checked out without any more drama.
I got to the car - said I was sorry to my husband and started to cry. I cried because I was sad for how that young man was being treated. If this happened at his job, I couldn't imagine what his life must be like. I thought to myself he is someone's son. He deserves to be treated with respect- especially at his job. I also was sad because I saw how hard it was, first -hand to involve yourself in a bullying type situation that had nothing to do with you. To be that person to "do something." When I visit with students, yes I talk about bullying, yes I talk about being kind and respectful. In addition, I always ask them to "Be that one person to make a difference." Its much easier said than done.
I started to brain storm on how I can incorporate my learning experience into my presentations. Instead of putting an emphasis on the bully vs. the victim- How can I inspire the bystander? As a culture we are taught to mind your own business and keep going on your own path. How could I inspire a change in that thought process? How could I make an impact so much that it inspires people to LIVE that change?... I think if I could come up with a single answer I'd single-handedly put an end to the world's problems... But until I do- I will continue with my journey. I will continue to lead by example. I will continue to inspire kindness, empathy and respect. I will continue to BE the change I want to see. I will continue to smile and just be NICE.
It's so simple right?
As always, thank you for reading...
Today I challenge you to go out and do something nice for a complete stranger. Be careful it gets addicting! :)
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