WOW! This has been a busy month for me. The outpour of support from family and friends has been positively overwhelming as I do what I know I was meant to do: spread awareness and fight to help others who may not be ready to fight for themselves. What started out as me "getting involved" has turned into so much more. I have received many letters from friends and friends-of-friends all telling me their stories of heart break, embarrassment, and shame. One thing we all seem to have in common is apologizing for who we are and who we were meant to be. Yes we were very different as children, but the theme I keep seeing is we were targeted for things that made us who we were. Maybe we were targeted because of sexual orientation, weight- too skinny or over-weight, poor growing up. Things we couldn't always help. Even POSITIVE things made people targets! Good grades, successful in athletics, being picked for homecoming court, or because they wouldn't drink at parties. It's these letters that keep me going on this path, and give me the strength to continue on my journey. I have also heard from the so-called "mean girls." I have heard their stories of why they did what they did, and guess what? These stories are not much different. They too may have just needed that one person to show kindness to them to make a change. In one interesting story, I was told that he had been a "mean girl" because he wanted to beat people to the punch, and take the attention off of him because he was gay. Another tells me it was so bad at home- being mean to others in school gave her a sense of worth. Bullying is a vicious cycle with both parties hurting inside. They have a lot more in common than they think. Understanding why bullies bully is a huge step toward preventing the problem. Recognizing this behavior and being pro-active from the very beginning can alter an outcome tremendously.
October is Bully Prevention & Awareness Month- I love this term so much better than "Anti-Bully." I feel like that has such a negative sound to it. I have made efforts in my journey to try not to use that word so much. Yes bullying is very negative, but "Bully Prevention" implies education and growth toward having a solution BEFORE there is even an issue. That is my goal- especially this week as I will be leading discussions with grade school children. I am SO excited to have this opportunity!! I had originally thought for this week's article I was going to post facts and statistics about bullying- but those are things anyone can look up on their own. Instead, I want to share creative ways WE, as a community, teacher, parent or friend, can be pro-active in this bully prevention movement. You absolutely could save a life. It's important to know the seriousness of a bullying situation- and get rid of the attitude "Kids will be Kids." Bullying can lead to serious emotional problems and increase the risk for suicide. If you see something going on, do something about it. You may be that person's ONLY help. Keep in mind that people who are being bullied are often very sensitive about this topic because they are embarrassed or scared to talk. Let them know you care and maybe start with some things that make them a great person to break the ice when you decide to ask them about their situation.
If you are a teacher or involved with education of children or teens, start a bully-free campaign or bully prevention group in your school. I know most schools have policies, but an ACTIVE group that consists of students and teachers would be a great way to start. You can even suggest that each school club or athletic team send a member to be a part of it. That could be a really great way to bring students together that may not usually have the chance to meet. In the classrooms you can also incorporate reading material appropriate for your classroom level that touches on the topics of acceptance, kindness and understanding differences. Often times people are bullied because they are not understood. I also recently found this great website called The Kindness Challenge (http://www.greatkindnesschallenge.org/School/event.html). It promotes one school week devoted to performing as many random acts of kindness as possible, even providing a check list. What a wonderful way to promote kindness at any age! Another amazing program, which is one of my favorites, is a program called The Rainbow Rabbit (www.therainbowrabbit.com). This program incorporates a great story that demonstrates what the power of kindness can do!
What happens if you're not a teacher? Well YOU can play just as big of a role, if not bigger! I know I said I wasn't going to list statistics but this one is pretty amazing. Research shows that bystanders can effectively stop bullying within 10 seconds of intervention. Bullies love an audience! Don't participate in the behavior or encourage them by laughing. If you see someone who is picked on, or left out of things, start to include them and get to know them. Invite them to sit with you at lunch, or grab coffee with them on a break, trust me- something so small makes a huge difference! This even applies to adults at work! Bullying in the workplace is a very real thing- which I plan to address at another time. None the less, never assume because they are adults they can take care of themselves in a bullying situation. Sometimes all they need is a kind smile to let them know they are not alone to give them the strength to stick up for themselves.
I was once told "people who allow themselves to be bullied lack self-worth." I couldn't disagree more. Please don't think you are less of a person because this is happening to you, and you absolutely don't deserve this. Know there are people that want to help you get out of this situation- often times all you have to do is ask. Find the courage and find your voice. This month is dedicated to you...use it to find strength. I promise you will be amazed at what you can do! For the rest of you that may not be in a bullying situation, my message is simple: Be kind. It DOES make a difference.
October is Bully Prevention & Awareness Month- I love this term so much better than "Anti-Bully." I feel like that has such a negative sound to it. I have made efforts in my journey to try not to use that word so much. Yes bullying is very negative, but "Bully Prevention" implies education and growth toward having a solution BEFORE there is even an issue. That is my goal- especially this week as I will be leading discussions with grade school children. I am SO excited to have this opportunity!! I had originally thought for this week's article I was going to post facts and statistics about bullying- but those are things anyone can look up on their own. Instead, I want to share creative ways WE, as a community, teacher, parent or friend, can be pro-active in this bully prevention movement. You absolutely could save a life. It's important to know the seriousness of a bullying situation- and get rid of the attitude "Kids will be Kids." Bullying can lead to serious emotional problems and increase the risk for suicide. If you see something going on, do something about it. You may be that person's ONLY help. Keep in mind that people who are being bullied are often very sensitive about this topic because they are embarrassed or scared to talk. Let them know you care and maybe start with some things that make them a great person to break the ice when you decide to ask them about their situation.
If you are a teacher or involved with education of children or teens, start a bully-free campaign or bully prevention group in your school. I know most schools have policies, but an ACTIVE group that consists of students and teachers would be a great way to start. You can even suggest that each school club or athletic team send a member to be a part of it. That could be a really great way to bring students together that may not usually have the chance to meet. In the classrooms you can also incorporate reading material appropriate for your classroom level that touches on the topics of acceptance, kindness and understanding differences. Often times people are bullied because they are not understood. I also recently found this great website called The Kindness Challenge (http://www.greatkindnesschallenge.org/School/event.html). It promotes one school week devoted to performing as many random acts of kindness as possible, even providing a check list. What a wonderful way to promote kindness at any age! Another amazing program, which is one of my favorites, is a program called The Rainbow Rabbit (www.therainbowrabbit.com). This program incorporates a great story that demonstrates what the power of kindness can do!
What happens if you're not a teacher? Well YOU can play just as big of a role, if not bigger! I know I said I wasn't going to list statistics but this one is pretty amazing. Research shows that bystanders can effectively stop bullying within 10 seconds of intervention. Bullies love an audience! Don't participate in the behavior or encourage them by laughing. If you see someone who is picked on, or left out of things, start to include them and get to know them. Invite them to sit with you at lunch, or grab coffee with them on a break, trust me- something so small makes a huge difference! This even applies to adults at work! Bullying in the workplace is a very real thing- which I plan to address at another time. None the less, never assume because they are adults they can take care of themselves in a bullying situation. Sometimes all they need is a kind smile to let them know they are not alone to give them the strength to stick up for themselves.
I was once told "people who allow themselves to be bullied lack self-worth." I couldn't disagree more. Please don't think you are less of a person because this is happening to you, and you absolutely don't deserve this. Know there are people that want to help you get out of this situation- often times all you have to do is ask. Find the courage and find your voice. This month is dedicated to you...use it to find strength. I promise you will be amazed at what you can do! For the rest of you that may not be in a bullying situation, my message is simple: Be kind. It DOES make a difference.
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