It's Simple. Be Kind

It’s ok. I know the news can be shocking.  I know you might not know what to say.  I know what you must be thinking… only because we thought it too.  What started out as a letter telling you what NOT to say, turned into a letter about why it’s ok to say exactly how you feel.  *** I know there are many parents that get offended when you say “I am sorry” for their child’s diagnosis. Me, sometimes, being one of them. Depending on my mood, and if my toddler is cooperating that day. For the most part, I really don’t mind because I can understand where you are coming from. I have seen post after post with directions on things to say to parents of special-needs kids. Posts on things not to say. When to say them. Who to say them to. What color to wear when you talk to them… ok so I haven’t seen that one, but you get the idea.  If I’m going to be  completely  honest here, I was sorry at first too. I was sorry to hear the news from the doctors.  I was sorry that our little girl spent

After receiving the results of Ashlynn’s head ultrasound at 2 weeks old, Chris and I knew there was a possibility of a Cerebral Palsy diagnosis.   Of course we did what any parent does when we want more info… headed straight to Google to research PVL. It was only a matter of minutes before we picked up on the statistically significant correlation between the two. Ashlynn never looked or moved differently to our untrained eyes in the beginning. She moved both of her arms and both of her legs… a lot. She followed our faces when we spoke to her. She even started babbling and cooing much earlier than our first. If it wasn’t for the fact that we saw her MRI results with our own eyes, we might have never suspected anything was wrong! We would come to understand it wasn’t so much that she wasn’t moving her arms and legs- but rather, how she was moving them. **** The day was finally upon us. The “wait-and- see” day.   Ashlynn’s 6-months follow-up.   I remember in the months

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Osho In my younger years, I was never really the type of woman that wanted to have children. I was never good with babies and I sure as heck didn’t like to baby sit! They cried too much! They made me nervous. But, when we had our son, things changed. He became my world... and my world became brighter. God never surprises me; He knows exactly what we need... and when we need it. I cannot thank him enough.      I’ll never forget - after 17 hours of labor and three hours of pushing - our perfect little baby boy entered the world. They placed him on my chest and what happened next, my husband and I will never forget. He actually lifted his head, looked at his daddy, looked at me, and then snuggled back down and fell asleep. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. It was so perfect and so sp

"It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm; when a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm did not happen or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides counterbalance or color, energy and hope." *** We didn't know a head ultrasound was on her agenda for the day. But we were used to all the hospital visitors from all different parts of the hospital coming and going, taking the samples they needed from her, not to be seen again. So it wasn't alarming to us they were going to come in for a head ultrasound (U/S). Poor thing was only 7 days old- but it was just one more thing to check off our list. The whole scan lasted about 15 mins in total and that was it. She barely even woke up for it. Easy and done.   It was early morning an

I don't think anything can prepare you for seeing your tiny angel laying in a plastic bassinet connected to an unlimited amount of wires and cords...I hated those cords. I hated the noises the machines made. I hated all the sounds of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I hated the fact that I had to ask a stranger for permission to hold my beautiful baby girl. I hated that I was scared to hold her. To this day, I still hate seeing the nursing bottles I had to take back and forth from the hospital to our home. I can't even stand to see the "kangaroo care" shirt that I wore to "bond" with my baby. I hated seeing the NICU phone number pop up on my screen when I wasn't there. I hated that I couldn't be there as much as I wanted to be. But... my daughter is ALIVE because of the NICU.  The NICU is one of the most horrible and beautiful places I have ever been. There is no doubt in my mind that God lives in the NICU... and the nurses are